Disease
by BellaMay76
Summary: Song fic from matchbox20, with Arnold as singersongwriter. Who are his muses?


****I am taking a break from "day in my shoes" to write another one shot! I have been frustrated with the direction my other story is taking, so in order to put out the best possible chapters in the future I thought I'd write this little songfic that I've been thinking of for a while now. It's based on the song "Disease" by Matchbox 20 whom I adore! Let me know what you think and hopefully I will have an inspired update on "shoes" very soon! Thanks and R/R!!  
  
Disease  
  
The smoke in the tiny club was all encompassing, swirling in blue gray rivets around his head. He coughed slightly, clearing his throat in the process.  
  
Did he really think he could go through with playing this song?  
  
He sighed, taking a deep breath as he did so. He knew it was his best work to date. He also knew that the top executives from Rivendale Records were in the crowd tonight.  
  
There was no turning back. It was either bare his soul with this, the very best song he'd ever written, or chicken out.  
  
"And now ladies and gents, submitted for your listening pleasure, the singing/songwriting phenomenon of Hillwood city, Arnold-"  
  
The crowd's premature applause drowned out his last name, but it was of no matter to him. The purplish white spotlight hit him like a ton of bricks as he positioned himself on the barstool in the center of the miniscule stage.  
  
The last thing that entered his mind before he struck the first cord on his worn out guitar was her.  
  
Feels like you made a mistake  
  
You let somebody's heart break  
  
But now I have to let you go  
  
I have to let you go  
  
They had started dating right after senior prom. He'd longed for her since the fourth grade, and here she was, his girlfriend at last. The first 3 months had been utterly blissful, that is, until fall arrived. College was right around the corner, and she dropped the bomb.  
  
"I don't know just how to tell you this, Arnold. I am just ever so sorry," the radiant redhead looked up at him with tears glistening in the corners of her translucent green eyes.  
  
"Just tell me, Lila. What's wrong?" He'd held her hand gently, expecting it to be bad news concerning her father or the business he had just started up. It was on shaky ground from the start, and he knew there had been a lot of stress on the family lately as a result.  
  
"We're wrong," Lila whispered, her sweet voice barely audible. "I can't see you anymore, Arnold,"  
  
After what seemed like an eternity, he asked her the inevitable question.  
  
"Why?"  
  
You left a stain  
  
On every one of my good days  
  
But I'm stronger than you know  
  
I have to let you go  
  
It had been the worst six months of his life, getting over Lila. He had barely passed his first semester of school that year. Had it not been for Gerald and Phoebe's intervention in tutoring him, he'd have lost his scholarship for sure.  
  
"She's no good, man. She's used to perfection, and you just ain't her idea of it," Gerald had answered him rather severely on one of those days he didn't feel like getting out of bed.  
  
No one's ever turned you over  
  
No one's tried  
  
To ever let you down  
  
Beautiful Girl, Bless your heart.  
  
He was becoming consumed with her, that is, until SHE came along. The most unlikely person in his life pointed out that Lila was a toxin to him. If he didn't let go of her, he would surely die.  
  
I've got a disease  
  
Deep inside that makes me  
  
Feel uneasy Baby I can't live without you  
  
Tell me, what am I 'sposed to do about it?  
  
" Just stay away from her, completely," she replied dryly one day as they poured over Elizabethan poetry for the hundredth time that afternoon. " Don't pay her any mind and she'll fade away like a bad dream,"  
  
Keep your distance from me,  
  
Don't pay no attention to me  
  
I've got a disease..  
  
As he spent more and more time with her, he forgot almost all about Lila. He became entranced by her clear blue eyes, her long blonde mane and lithe figure every time she seated herself across from him in the library.  
  
"What'cha starin' at Arnoldo?" she'd shot at him one day as she scratched her ear with a pencil. He had to do it, it was now or never.  
  
"Will you.. Will you come to dinner with me?'' he'd spat out.  
  
The pause was audible.  
  
" Dinner? With you?" her lovely face went 3 shades paler than normal.  
  
She'd said yes.  
  
But that was only the beginning of his sweet torment.  
  
Feels like you're making a mess.  
  
She'd arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes late, but he didn't care. She looked stunning in her strapless black Prada dress. She smiled bewitchingly, but he could see in her eyes that she was terrified.  
  
You're hell on wheels in a black dress.  
  
Dinner went well enough, nervous laughter and chatter abounded. The walk home however, proved to be their downfall.  
  
He didn't know how long he'd been staring at Lila as she kissed some random jock passionately on the quad steps, but he guessed it was long enough for his date to see the whole scene.  
  
" Oh, I see," she'd whispered through clenched teeth. " Still not over Little Miss Perfect, huh?" She'd stormed away quickly, twisting her ankle precariously in her attempt at swift departure.  
  
" Let me help you," he'd begged, eager to make things right.  
  
" GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF!!" she'd bellowed, limping as fast as she could away from the courtyard. He was left in the shadows, clutching one small black shoe.  
  
You drove me through the fire  
  
And left me there to burn  
  
Every little thing you do is tragic  
  
Oh your life, oh it's magic  
  
Beautiful girl, I can't breathe..  
  
If getting over Lila was troublesome, then getting over her, whom he never shared more than one fated date with, was a million times harder. He was left with the thought of what could have been, rather than what was and what did not work. She ran into him time to time as usual, but she cast her eyes away from him immediately each time she saw that it was him.  
  
His heart ached anew with a fresh pain, one he could never have dreamed of.  
  
I've got a disease  
  
Deep inside that makes me  
  
Feel uneasy baby  
  
I can't live without you  
  
Tell me, what am I 'sposed to do about it?  
  
Keep your distance from me, don't pay no attention to me  
  
I've got a disease  
  
He truly felt sick. It felt like his whole world was caving in on him and that there was nothing he could do about it.  
  
The next 2 years of college flew by after he had discovered his love of writing and singing original music. Most of his songs were about her, but never had he combined his feelings for both women in his tempestuous love life into one song.  
  
Once he had it written, he knew it was the most honest work of his life.  
  
Oh well I think that I'm sick  
  
My whole world is coming down on me  
  
You taste like honey, Honey. Tell me can I be your honey?  
  
He'd worked hard at forgetting her, but she was a constant reminder. Now that this, his best song was written, he knew it was his greatest shot at getting a contract.  
  
Maybe playing this song wasn't such a bad idea. He felt freer already as he neared the end. He just wished she was there to hear it.  
  
Please be strong, Keep telling myself that it won't take long til'  
  
I'm free from my disease.Free from my disease..  
  
Free from my disease...  
  
He finished the last note flawlessly. The applause that followed was deafening in response.  
  
And then he saw her, standing near the back table, clad in her killer black dress and one high heel. Tears were streaming down her lovely face, but she was looking at him. Finally, she was looking at him.  
  
And for the first time in 2 and a half years, Arnold smiled.  
  
He practically ran off the stage. As he'd hoped, she was trying to make her way through the thick crowd of sweaty bodies smooshed together near the stage exit.  
  
" Wait!" he called, searching her eyes for any hint of doubt.  
  
There was none, and she finally elbowed one very large security guard that blocked her path from him.  
  
They looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity, but was really only seconds.  
  
She finally broke the silence. " You over that nightmare of an ex?"  
  
" Can you ever forgive me?" Arnold took her hands in his.  
  
" I already have," she answered slyly, sinking into a heart stopping kiss.  
  
Finally, Helga was his.  
  
****The End**** 


End file.
